May 31, 2026 · PM edition

Staley, SpaceX, and a Stanley Cup - the week that was

The week proved once again that in 2026, you don't need a product - you just need a ticker symbol and a famous last name, preferably one that isn't testifying before Congress.

FF2K generated dispatch art for Staley, SpaceX, and a Stanley Cup - the week that was

Full recap

Let's start with the obvious: two of the biggest names in finance this week are Bill Gates and Jes Staley, and neither of them is trending for good reasons. Staley agreed to a July 23 interview with the House Oversight panel about his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein, joining Gates who is up first in June. The financial elite's Epstein problem refuses to die, which at this point is less a scandal and more a recurring subscription service nobody asked for. Meanwhile, in a parallel universe where the news is actually fun, retail investors have poured $2.6 billion into the NASA ETF in just two months, chasing SpaceX IPO access like it's a golden ticket. Elon Musk's rocket company hasn't even gone public yet and it's already the hottest trade on the street. If you ever needed proof that hype precedes fundamentals in modern markets, here it is, gift-wrapped and strapped to a Falcon 9. Dell and HP both moved big in premarket and after-hours sessions this week, which is Wall Street's polite way of saying earnings season still has a pulse even if nobody's talking about it. Gap also made the list, which is impressive for a brand that has been 'turning around' for approximately fifteen consecutive years. At some point the turnaround becomes the business model. On the ice, the Carolina Hurricanes and the Vegas Golden Knights are set for a Stanley Cup Final showdown. Two franchises, one built on hurricane insurance money and one built inside a casino, fighting for hockey's oldest trophy. The metaphor practically writes itself: volatility versus the house. Spoiler - the house usually wins. In college softball, Katie Stewart hit a late home run to send Texas past Nebraska at the Women's College World Series. Clean, clutch, and completely devoid of a $2.6 billion ETF built around it. Refreshing, honestly. Sports where the outcome isn't priced in three months early. The Cubs and Cardinals face off on Sunday Night Baseball, and somewhere a computer model has simulated this 10,000 times and is very confident about something. The Cubs and Cardinals rivalry is one of the few remaining institutions in American life that doesn't need a rebrand, a pivot to digital, or a congressional hearing. Treasure it. NASCAR is at Nashville for the Cracker Barrel 400, which is either a race or a very aggressive breakfast promotion. Either way, cars go fast, Cracker Barrel sells biscuits, and an advanced model is telling you who to bet on. This is peak American content and nobody should apologize for enjoying it.

Highlights

  • Jes Staley joins Bill Gates in the Epstein interview queue - the financial elite's most exclusive club nobody wants to join
  • The NASA ETF pulled in $2.6 billion in two months on SpaceX hype alone - retail investors are literally betting on rockets before they see the prospectus
  • Hurricanes vs. Golden Knights in the Stanley Cup Final: volatility versus the house, with actual ice involved
  • Dell, HP, and Gap all moved big this week - one is reinventing itself, one is stable, and one has been 'turning around' since the Obama administration
  • Katie Stewart hit a walk-off homer at the WCWS and did it without a single ETF being created in her honor

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